sound, fury, pregnancy

I love to watch documentaries, and one of my favorites is Sound and Fury. It’s 11 years old now, so it’s probably getting dated, but the film follows two brothers (one who is deaf and one who is hearing), and their respective decision-making process on pursuing cochlear implants for their deaf children. It’s available on Netflix Instant if you haven’t seen it, but I’m guessing you probably have if you wanted to, because it’s more than a decade old.

I recently found this interview with Heather Artinian, who is one of the children featured in the film. I found Heather’s response to this question particularly insightful:

Q: Did you face any obstacles in any of these leadership activities because of your hearing loss?

A: I wouldn’t personally call them obstacles.  I’d just call it an “oh well” situation. It’s always what I say.  Sometimes many people will be talking at once, and I won’t know what just happened. […] I don’t personally get sad about it because it’s just a part of my life. and I have great friends that tell me what happened afterwards

I always enjoy reading about how other people deal with being different. Having strabismus/amblyopia is just one such difference, and I think we can learn from others who do not necessarily share our exact circumstances. Heather seems to have an amazing amount of confidence and maturity for her 18 years. I really like her perspective that she doesn’t get sad about her difference, but rather, just sees it as a part of her life. I am more than a decade older than Heather, and I don’t think I’ve quite reached that point. When I was her age, I did get sad when I encountered people who looked over their shoulders when talking to me, or otherwise appeared confused. I tended to back down and avoid these situations and these people. I can’t go back now, but I wonder how things might have been different if I had directly addressed the situation, rather than avoiding it. Heather also mentions how her friends help her. I always have had people who accepted me regardless of my strabismus—in fact, many more people who did accept me than did not. I’m always thankful for friends that were understanding when I felt down, who stood up for me, or who offered to drive, knowing that my visual limitations make certain driving activities more difficult for me.

Heather’s response to this question intrigued me as well:

Q: There are still some [controversies] on both sides of the deaf world – there are some who are still against cochlear implants and some who are against using sign language. How do you feel about this controversy?

A: As a person who uses both sign language and the implant as a big part of my life, I think they’re dumb, for lack of a better word.  I just think it’s a person’s own business what they want to do.  

As a patient, I’ve found navigating the treatment of amblyopia and strabismus to be increasingly difficult, due to the opposing viewpoints held by ophthalmologists and vision therapists. Like Heather, I’d like to live in both worlds, and I’d like for both sides of the debate to respect what the other side has to offer. But ultimately, I like what Heather has to say: it’s a person’s own business what they want to do. She’s right. What works for one person may not necessarily work for another.

On an entirely unrelated note, I’m pregnant! Instead of discussing my eyes and the eyes of our future child, I’m going to depart from the tradition of this blog, and write about something else.

Pregnancy has really amped up whatever hormone is responsible for the inappropriate manufacturing of general weepiness. Here are some places/situations that have caused me to cry in the last few months:

1)      The first weekend after I found out I was pregnant, I went to a comics convention with my husband. I got in line to have an artist sign my book, only to be told that no one else was allowed in the line. I started crying, even though I honestly did not care, at all, about getting this book signed. I was only in the line because I was there, really.

2)      Going to church, period, but especially on Christmas Eve. I guess this one is relatively self-explanatory.

3)      At a school board meeting I was reporting on, when two of the board members were stepping down. The speeches about how much everyone was going to miss them started it off, and then a high school student sang a song (this never happens at board meetings in my experience) and I was pretty much reduced to a blubbering mess.

4)      Related to number three: I don’t seem to be able to handle anything involving live music right now. This past weekend, my husband and I went to a 1960s singalong event, and a number of songs reduced me to tears, including, “Puff, the Magic Dragon” (self-explanatory—this song is actually devastatingly sad when you really pay attention) and “Where Have All the Flowers Gone?” (same). On top of my weepiness at the music, they had refreshments at the singalong, and in a nod to health, someone had put out a bowl of oranges, alongside all the cookies and other goodies. I was very touched by the presence of the oranges. I was literally like, “Oooh! They have oranges, which have lots of folic acid for the baby!”

5)      Watching Parenthood. There is a plotline right now about a pregnant character giving up her child for adoption, and I just can’t handle it.

In summary: if I am neglecting the blog, it is because my emotional energy is being directed elsewhere these days. But IE is not going anywhere, and I will be checking in when I can.